Lightbulb Moment

Today while trudging through Leviticus, I had a moment which made me feel like a cartoon character. If someone decided to sketch the moment, I believe fully that they would see me, rocking a baby to sleep with my Bible in hand. Then, suddenly, an angel would appear just over my right shoulder to whisper God’s message in my ear. My eyes would widen and a light bulb would appear above my head. That’s how it felt, anyway.

In chapter 4, Leviticus begins to detail the proper sacrifices for unintentional sins. At first, it seems very redundant. The rules are all the same (which I will come back to), and to be frank, it’s boring. We don’t do this anymore. The Jews don’t even do this anymore, so it’s very hard to feign interest.

But, don’t forget…Lightbulb.

Five times in chapter 5 it says if a person commits some sin “even though he is unaware of it, he has become unclean and is guilty.” When I first started reading this, back in chapter 4, I felt that compulsion that you feel as a child: to offer some blanket prayer of forgiveness for all the sins I didn’t know I committed that day, but I felt strongly that there was something more.

Here was what was whispered to me that caused the light bulb: “Maybe the intent isn’t to make you pray about something you don’t know you’ve done. Maybe the intent is to make you be aware of how you are living.”

Light bulb.

Let me see if I can be more clear.

Clearly the passage says that we are held accountable for even the sins we didn’t know we committed, but maybe just maybe it is also implying that we should always be aware of the sins we commit. Eventually they will be revealed to us, anyway. I have this nagging feeling that we would know instantly we were sinning–no matter how small the sin–if we were really in tune with God.

There was so much more. In my Bible, chapter 5 is titled ‘What to Give if One is Poor’, and what interested me was that rich or poor the price was ultimately the same: the death of an animal in place of the person. “For the wages of sin is death…” It has always been the price. And it couldn’t be just any animal. It had to be “one without defect and of proper value.”

So, either I got another whisper or just another layer of the same whisper was revealed.

Some people say that the old system of sacrifices was inefficient. Some say it simply became outdated, and this is why we needed Jesus. I disagree. It’s not that the sacrifices were inefficient, it’s just that we stopped getting it. It wasn’t enough to watch perfect animals slaughtered to take our place. We had to have something more powerful. Enter Jesus.

Light bulb.

Wonder, Awe and Marvel

¹mar·vel

noun \ˈmär-vəl\

1: one that causes wonder or astonishment
2: intense surprise or interest : astonishment

There are words in praise and worship songs, in the psalms and in general conversation which we use in reference to God but are immensely difficult to comprehend. Awe, infinite, forgiving…

In the past, ‘marvel’ has been a word that I would place in that category as well. Astonished amazement isn’t the easiest thing to wrap your mind around, but this week, as I really looked at my sons and reveled in the joy of being a mother, I connected with the word.

My oldest boy is almost 5, and while he continuously amazes me and surpasses my every want, hope and expectation, I often take him for granted unintentionally. But, with the birth of my newbie, I was re-introduced to the art of marveling. From the first moment of meeting, to the early days of bonding, there was intense love. Now, however, 5 weeks later, there is simply a lot of marveling.

I spend countless hours simply holding him, looking at him, smelling his hair, listening to his coos and touching his skin. I hoard every hour, every memory, every look and sound and move to store up and cherish. I look back on those first weeks with my oldest and I have a new, overwhelming appreciation of that time with him.

In short, marveling comes more naturally than I assumed.

When I apply that word to my life of faith, I come to a new understanding of just how I should view God and His works in my life and in the world. His beauty, His divine planning, His providence and provision should hold me captive.

I should be able to easily linger in His presence, eager to soak up just one more detail of His essence that is almost beyond comprehension. I should recognize that each moment in His presence is a gift and I should never, never become disenchanted with His glory.

That is to marvel. 

To be wonderfully surprised and intensely interested in who He is at all times, not just when He is fulfilling some obvious need, but when He simply is. That should be enough. Like yearning to hold a sleeping baby, I should yearn simply to be with Him. To touch Him, and to feel Him breathe.

Marvel.

Now that I understand, I think that word says it all.

I am Bad at Praying

The title is pretty self explanatory.

It’s not that I don’t like to pray. I’m just not very good at it.

I’ve never gotten into the habit of praying regularly. I get bogged down under the pressure to say what I want in some beautiful way. My mind wanders horribly. I don’t fall asleep but I do end up making checklists of things I need to get done when I’m done praying. I try to recite to Lord’s Prayer when I’m desperate, but I know this gorgeous song-version of it, so then I just end up singing. I sometimes feel like I’m a crazy person. (I’m very sorry if you are really good at praying and this offends you. I genuinely want to be better at it). In most circumstances, talking to someone no one else can see isn’t regarded highly in today’s society. I then get distracted trying to remind myself that I’m not crazy–you see the trouble?

I want to be good at praying.

I want to be a selfless pray-er. I don’t want to come at God like He’s a magic genie sent to fulfill my wishes, but I usually don’t know what else to say.

Sometimes, though, there are amazing passages in the Bible that say all I’ve ever wanted to say. David’s prayer/Psalm of forgiveness is one great example. Here’s another.

First, I’d like to establish for you the relationship God and Moses had.
“The Lord would speak to Moses face-to-face, as a man speaks with his friend.”--Exodus 33:11

I long for that.

It is from this place that Moses is able to pray this prayer.
“If You are pleased with me, teach me Your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with You.”–Exodus 33:13

It is a prayer I borrow when I don’t know what else to say. This is all I want: to know God and truly find favor in His eyes.

Here’s another great thing: “The Lord replied, ‘My presence will go with you and I will give you all the rest.’”–Exodus 33:14

The Lord replied and made a promise to provide. I hang onto that.

Why God would harden a heart

There is one aspect of Moses’ life story that has always bothered me. It always made me extremely uncomfortable that in some verses it says “God hardened Pharaoh’s heart.” I just could not logically explain why the God of heaven, this loving God who forgives and reaches out to nations would specifically harden a man’s heart. It causes Pharaoh to sin and costs lives. What purpose could this serve?

Well, I think God let me in on the secret today.

As I sat down to read, I was drawn back to this question and here is an excerpt of my personal journal. God opened my eyes: “I have always wondered why God would harden Pharaoh’s heart. The idea just occurred to me that maybe it was to prove to as many people as possible (advisors, etc.) that Moses’ God was the only REAL, true God.”

Through the 2 1/2 chapters I covered today, the Holy Spirit revealed the truth of this insight to me.

It’s important to remember that the plagues started off as, basically, annoyances. Yes, the waters were turned to blood, but people were able to dig near the waters to get clean water (Exodus 7:24). It was just inconvenient. Then there were frogs, then gnats, then flies. The plagues slowly increased in severity.

1.) Time and again, the magicians of Egypt were able to mimic the works of God which led to Moses’ claims being dismissed. BUT God uses the progressively more complex plagues to turn the magicians first.
         “¹⁸ But when the magicians tried to produce gnats by their secret arts, they could not. And the gnats were on men and animals. ¹⁹ The magicians said to Pharaoh, “This is the finger of God.” But Pharaoh’s heart was hard and he would not listen, just as the LORD had said.” –Exodus 8:18-19

It took 3 plagues, but they got it.

2.) Then God shows that the God of Moses and the Israelites is in control of it all by excluding the Israelites from the plague of the flies.

I’m sure that this was done to show the people of Egypt that something special was going on.

Then I reached Exodus 9:16. I don’t know why I’ve never paid any attention to this before, but I wish I had because it answers my question completely.
           “¹⁶ But I have spared you for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”

And, God’s effort produce results. Some of Pharaoh’s officials believe as well.
            “¹⁹ Give an order now to bring your livestock and everything you have in the field to a place of shelter, because the hail will fall on every man and animal that has not been brought in and is still out in the field, and they will die.’ “ ²⁰ Those officials of Pharaoh who feared the word of the LORD hurried to bring their slaves and their livestock inside.”–Exodus 9:19-20

So, maybe, when we completely do NOT understand the plan that God is working out in our lives, maybe God is just trying to be the God we all envision Him as. Maybe he is being loving; maybe He is reaching out. Maybe His hand will be MORE evident when there is oppression or strife.

If that’s the case, and even more can be saved, who am I to complain?

Leftists, Libertarians, and…God?

“Libertarians support maximum liberty in both personal and economic matters. They advocate a much smaller government; one that is limited to protecting individuals from coercion and violence. Libertarians tend to embrace individual responsibility, oppose government bureaucracy and taxes, promote private charity, tolerate diverse lifestyles, support the free market, and defend civil liberties.” http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz_result?e=80&i=80_80.gif&p=80 (at the bottom of the page is a summary of 6 political views as expressed by lp.org and advocates for limited government)

“We declare the platform of the Constitution Party to be predicated on the principles of  The Declaration of Independence, The Constitution of the United States and The Bill of Rights According to the original intent of the Founding Fathers, these founding documents are the foundation of our Liberty and the Supreme Law of the Land. The sole purpose of government, as stated in the Declaration of Independence, is to secure our unalienable rights given us by our Creator. When Government grows beyond this scope, it is usurpation, and liberty is compromised.” http://www.constitutionparty.com/party_platform.php

Warning: This post will be a departure from my typical foray into little life lessons of faith. Instead, I want to speak about politics and how they impact the daily lives of believers and non-believers alike.

I am not well-acquainted with the Libertarian political stance. In America, we are raised with 3 options when it comes to political views: Democratic (progressive), Republican (conservative), and abstaining from political involvement all together. For many, these options simply are not enough any longer. Though I am religious, and conservative, and traditional, I do not always agree with the legislation doled out by those claiming to be conservative Republicans. My desire for less social rule may seem contrary to my core beliefs as a Christian, but stem from a deep-rooted belief in the greatness of our country and its founding documents which do not favor the feds legislating how citizens conduct the most personal of matters.

In short, I am increasingly coming to favor those parties which tell the federal government to back off. The Libertarians and Constitutionalists are two emerging parties with views similar to mine in certain areas.

Here are some things you must know about me before we proceed. First, I am an avid, almost obsessive reader. I have been accused more than once in my life of being legalistic because of this. When I read something from a firm, fast document like the Constitution, Declaration or Bible–that is it. That’s what it says, that’s what it means, and it’s then my job to do my utmost to uphold the dictates discovered therein. (I fail remarkably well at the follow-through sometimes, but at least I can flip to a particular passage and say, ‘See this is what the standard is. This is where I went wrong.’)

Keeping all of that in mind I would like to present this radical view: Back off. All of you.

Simple, no?

Here’s what I mean; I have encountered many religious/political advocates who push legislation through based on their personal morality. While I am not opposed to voting or advocating religiously motivated laws, I see a double-standard. Many times those same people will complain about the laws which restrict them from donating to campaigns or prevent their children from learning about creationism or saying the pledge in school.

By contrast, Libertarians on the fringe who are all for people’s right to smoke what they want, where they want and live how they want will NOT apply those same standards to the church communities across the nation. Here’s the thing kids: If you, as an individual citizen or private organization, have the right to get high or marry a same-sex partner, then I, as an individual citizen, have the right to disagree publically. I even have the right to attempt to talk you out of your beliefs and (gasp) evangelize and share my own. According to the founding documents, the only thing I don’t have a right to do is mandate federally how you behave. That is reserved for your state legislative process.

You see, people who scream, “Separation of Church and State!” don’t often follow through on the logic. If we are separate then let us be separate. Don’t dictate where churches can be planted. Don’t interfere when a bunch of believers weird you out by dressing as prescribed in the Bible. (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Timothy%202:9,10;%201%20Peter%203:3, http://www.biblegateway.com/topical/Dress/Nave). I won’t force your child to pray before their meal at school as long as you don’t prevent my child from doing so.

Here is my proposed solution:

1.) Let’s all return to the Constitution. 
               -Daunting task I know. It means some people will actually have to READ the Constitution. But, it isn’t long. I promise. Heck, while they’re at it, they could throw in the Declaration and still have it done in a day!
2.) Let the states have their power back. 
               -If Vermont wants to allow gay marriage, adopt universal health care, employ illegals, and dance at every White House ball whatever.
               -BUT if Texas wants to allow every citizen to openly holster a Smith & Wesson, ban gay marriage, shuttle all illegals out of their state, and allow a prayer and the pledge to start every school day then let them.
3.) Raise awareness for the hypocrisy.
               -The next time you start to complain about your kid having to sit uncomfortably while another child prays remember that there is at least one child sitting uncomfortably because they cannot.

This is why federally legislating social matters does not work. For every one who avoids insult or injury there is one who is limited, insulted, and injured by the legislation. Leave it to the states; at least citizens are then given an option–Move.

If Cali’s increasing debt, lack of natural resources, and legislating themselves out of power isn’t working out for you, head east. Better yet, if you aren’t identifying with the
“extreme” ways of Texas, leave. I assure you that they won’t miss you.

I’ll make you a deal: Even though I disagree, I’ll stop complaining about your recreational, in-home drug use if you let me pray with other believers at my sons’ graduations.